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THE RAW ONION DIET

A trendy way to eat.

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There’s a new diet fad and Laugh About It’s science team wanted to share it with you. Looking to lose weight and don’t really care if there is any true scientific proof behind your new fad diet? Then this is the new fad diet for you. It’s called the Raw Onion Diet and it is very simple. For breakfast, lunch and dinner you eat a raw onion. Want a snack? Raw onion. Company coming over and you want to impress? Serve raw onions. They’ll be so impressed by how trendy you are! Such a simple diet: all raw onions all the time. Don’t cook your onions though. Nope, that’ll change everything. Why? 

We don’t know, but we’re claiming it anyway. Why not? There’s already no science behind the Raw Onion Diet, so we can claim whatever we want to. Some people might tell you that just eating raw onions all day is probably bad for your health and they would likely be right. But don’t listen to real experts, what do they know? We say that we’re experts on raw onions, so that means we are right. Sure.Trust in the Raw Onion Diet we say.Nine out of ten onions agree with us that this is a pretty cool new fad diet.

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Up and At It Award: Getting out of bed is hard, but somehow Waker Uup manages to get out of bed the second his alarm goes off, almost every day. Hats off to you Waker.

 

Ate The Whole Thing Award: This award is just for kids. It isn’t easy eating everything on your plate no matter how annoyed your mother can get. That’s why we’ve given this award to Eaton Ital who was able to clear his plate 7 full days in a row.

 

Took My Time Award: Everyone is in such a hurry these days. That’s why we created this award to honour those who go at their own pace. This year’s award goes to Takeen Metime who managed to be late for every start of the work day, meeting, and family planned occasion for an entire year. What a great example of keeping it cool!Putting It On Award: Some days you just don’t want to get out of bed, and if you do, you don’t want the hassle of getting dressed so you stay in your PJs. Not Ghana Wearit. For 71 consecutive days Ghana managed to change out of her pyjamas even on the weekend. Uncanny!

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THE 2024 LAUGH ABOUT IT MUNDANE AWARDS

Why are awards always about excellence when most of us only ever achieve our greatest moments in the mundane day to day of things? Laugh About It has decided to recognize the average by rewarding people for being the best at nothing important. To that end we introduce Laugh About It’s Awards of The Mundane.

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Cleanest Glasses Award: If you wear glasses you know how annoyingly hard it is to keep them clean. That’s why this year’s award goes to Shawn Fru who somehow manages to keep the oil and grime off of her glasses most of the time.

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A New One-Time-Only April Holiday

With March Break and the Easter long weekend coming so close together this year we ended up having no long weekends to look forward to later in April. So we’ve decided to create a once-only April 2024 long weekend holiday with it’s own traditional activities. Here are the top options we have come up with so far:

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Saint Bernard Day: Kids gather in a field and a big Saint Bernard runs around and tries to knock them down. After the game, all the kids get large St Bernard gummies to take home.

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Just Give Me Candy Day: Kids get to go around to their neighbours’ homes asking for candy. Sure it might sound a bit like Halloween, but the big difference is that on Just Give Me Candy Day kids would wear… um… costumes… and/ OK, it’s just like Halloween, but what kid wouldn’t want that twice a year?

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Pickleball Day: Every single street in the city will be shut down all day and turned into a Pickleball court. Everyone is welcome to play and grown-ups are forbidden to get competitive (because we’ve all seen how intense Pickleball can get). The winners from each street would compete with each other, but since all the streets are shut down, no one will actually be able to leave their neighbourhood.

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Blah Day: Who says holidays have to be fun? Why not have a day of blah when you dress in greys, eat bland food and take your kids shopping for clothes but don’t let them get a toy or a treat or anything?The traditional dinner menu would consist of boiled chicken and potatoes, or boiled spinach if you are vegan, followed up by grape gelatine dessert. Fun? Not really.

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