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It was so hot in my house that it took an extra hour after my shower just to dry off.
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I saw a cat stuck in a tree and I couldn’t just walk by without helping.
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My door swelled with the heat so I had to climb out a second-storey window.
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I was abducted by aliens, but then they rejected me and, well, here I am.
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My dog ate my alarm clock.
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I thought I smelled a gas leak. Turns out it was just my socks.
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I thought someone stole my car but by the time the police arrived I remembered I don’t own a car.
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There were so many tourists packing the buses that I had to skip, like, 6 or 7 before there was room.
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I forgot it was summer break and I had to get my kids to camp.
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It was raining so I assumed it was the weekend.
Top 10 excuses for
being late for work
It’s summer and getting to work on time is harder than ever. It could be that you were out late at a BBQ the night before, or it’s so hot in your home everything seems to take longer than usual, or maybe you just don’t feel like rushing on such a beautiful day. Whatever your reasons are, you find yourself late for work. We get it. That’s why we’ve supplied you with 10 surefire excuses that your boss can’t refute.
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New Restaurant In Town Called AI’s Diner
Do you want something new for dinner tonight? You might want to try St. Catharines’ newest restaurant AI’s Diner. Imagine your entire experience generated by AI from the menu to the robot cooks. Even your waitstaff is Do you want something new for dinner tonight? You might want to try St. Catharines’ newest restaurant AI’s Diner. Imagine your entire experience generated by AI from the menu to the robot cooks. Even your
waitstaff is an artificially intelligent robot. The menu features unique dishes like Pineapple Soup, Sawdust Flapjacks (literally sawdust), Spaghetti and Neat Balls, Spam Burgers, Pizza & Cream Pie, Rutabaga Paste Surprise and a lot more dishes that for the most part resemble food, but you know something just ain’t right about ‘em. You can even order great desserts like Oregano and Fish Sorbet, Apple and Kidney Pie, Lentil Loaf or even their famous Strawberry Concrete Sunday. You’ll love the waitstaff, and when they talk about being just years away from world domination you won’t find it creepy at all. Enjoy your meal.
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Indulgent Uncle Buys Nephew Real Excavator, Mom Not Amused
A Drummond Heights mother was not amused when her rich brother, known for buying over-the-top gifts for his niece and nephew showed up to their home with a full size excavator instead of a toy version. Though the “toy” was a great hit with her son, his mother was not happy. “What is he supposed to do with this?” she asked. “He can’t play with it! I can’t even drive it off of our driveway! Why does my brother always have to do this?” When asked why he bought such an inappropriate gift the uncle
responded, “What do you mean inappropriate? The kid loves to play with his construction toys so I bought him one. I don’t know what the big deal is.” Despite her son’s objections the mother vows to have the machine returned and moving forward is limiting her brother to gifts that cost no more than $20. When we asked the uncle if he would abide by her limits he responded, “So what am I supposed to do with the Corvette?”
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Looking For A Cheap Way To Have Fun While Beating The Heat This Summer?
Bob Low explaining that his basement really is worth $10 to visit.
Are you looking for a budget-friendly experience to enjoy with the family this summer while escaping the heat? Look no further than Bob’s Basement. Local entrepreneur Bob Low has opened his lower floor to the public and it costs a mere $10 for adults and $5 for children ages 10 to 17 with younger children getting in for free. Once you are there you can enjoy
engaging in activities like standing around talking over other visitors, imagining how Bob might finish his basement some day or wishing you were anywhere else. Your kids can have fun too while playing games like hide-and-seek... well seek anyway, or running between the legs of other guests and bumping into exposed beams. Your teenaged children will hate it, and isn’t that what all teenagers want anyway, to hate places their parents force them to go to? The best part is that you will be underground and out of the heat, unless a lot of people show up on the same day as you. Bob has mentioned that the place gets pretty darned hot when there is a large crowd.
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